"Next", shouted the man in a black coat. The place was so crowded. They were pulling a man out of the room like a donkey. He didn't look up even once. The man with a stick would hit him again and again.
"Move. Move fast. Where do you think you are? At some recreational park?", he said.
"Look boy", said the Hawaldar standing next to me, "This is what they do to people like you. You will learn a lesson soon. Do you see that man? Handcuffed? He killed a Seth for money."
That man's eyes were so full of guilt. He was ashamed. He didn't look up even once. The policeman would hit him but he didn't utter a word.
"When I leave that room I would not be ashamed. What for? I didn't do any wrong.", I thought to myself.
"Your turn, kid. Get up. We have to go in now.", the Hawaldar said and pulled my collar. As we entered the room, everyone looked at me as if in astonishment. "He is the culprit? He seems young. What would be his age? 14? Or 15? Not any more, I bet. God show him the right path", said a lady sitting in the corner. Soon silence invaded the room. Bade sahib was sitting there, checking the papers related to my case. I was told that he would decide my fate today.
"He seems nice. He won't punish me.", I was telling myself. Bade sahib looked at me over his glasses and then took them off. "So boy, these papers say that you killed someone. Do you have to say anything about it?"
I was 14 then. Lived in a small hut with my Maa and Baba. My Baba was a policeman. Maa used to take care of the house, fields, farms and everything. She also worked in other houses for money. She would finish her work at home early and leave. Then she would get back right before the sunset.
"Your Baba will be coming anytime. Go study. You know that he doesn't like your playing around all the time", she would say. "Ammi, Baba won't notice. And he is angry all the time.", I joked.
Ammi and Baba had been married for 25 years. Ammi was just 16 when she married Abbu.
"Your Nana Abbu wanted to find a handsome and well paid groom for me. I would find you a prince and you will rule he used to say. But he didn't live that long.", she said.
Ammi used to tell me stories from her childhood. That Nana Abbu took care of her. That he fulfilled all her wishes. "Your Nani Ammi died when I was 4. Your Nana Abbu brought me up after that. He never married again because he feared that the second mother won't love me.", she told me, "I was the most lucky kid. But after your Nana Abbu died everything changed. I married your Baba and everything changed." She heaved a sigh. She was not happy with my Baba.
"Boy, do you have anything to say about this? Did you kill anyone?", Bade Sahib shouted.
"My Baba. That someone I killed was my Baba. I killed my Baba.", I replied.
Baba used to be out all day and come home drunk. She beated Ammi, cursed her, abused her. But she never let him touch me. "Go to your room Asif. Don't you see your Baba is angry. Go to your room and lock it from inside.", she said. I would run to my room and hide there. I could easily hear Ammi crying and Abbu abusing and beating her. I cried. I always wanted to help Ammi but was too scared to come out.
She never wanted me to be a part of all this.
"Asif jaan, you should study hard and be a big man. You will have money, good clothes, big house, your own cars and many servants. Your wife will not have to work at all.", she used to say.
"Why did you kill your father?", Bade sahib asked. "I didn't kill my Baba. He was not my Baba. He was some beast. He was an animal."
That night I was doing my homework in the porch. It was dark already and the Ammi had not returned yet. I thought I should go out and look for her but she had asked me not to leave the house in the dark. She must be working too hard. That is why she comes home late. I thought.
Baba came home and Ammi had not returned yet. "Where is your Ammi?", he asked. "She is not back yet.", I replied. "Not back yet? What is she doing these days? Where does she go in the dark? Who does she meet?", he held my collar and said, "Tell me. She tells you everything. Is she seeing someone? Who is she with?". "I don't know. I am worried myself.", I replied. "You liar. You think you can fool a policeman? I will set you and your Ammi right.", he slapped me.
My friends used to say that everybody thought very low of my father. They thought that he was a very cruel and wicked person. I argued with them always and told them that my Baba was a good policeman. But reality was not hidden.
"Leave him. What are you doing?. Neither I nor Abbu noticed Ammi entering the house. "Asif, go to your room now.", she said to me. I didn't move. Baba started beating Ammi"Where were you? Who were you with? Witch.", he started abusing her.
Ammi was used to this beating now. She never said anything in response because she knew that Baba won't listen. But I could not just sit and be an audience to all this. I gathered courage and said,"Leave my Ammi. She didn't do anything." "Your Ammi is innocent? And what am I? Animal?" he asked. "Yes, you are an animal.", I replied. "So, you think I am an animal? Let me show you what an animal does.", he got furious. He went to the kitchen and brought a knife. "He will kill you' Asif. Go away please." Ammi could not stand up well due to the beating.
I don't remember what happened after that. All I remember was that I stood there with the knife in my hand. Baba was lying on the ground, all his clothes covered with blood.
"Don't be silent boy. Say something. Why did you kill your Baba? What did he do to you?", Bade Sahib asked again.
"Punish me", I said, "and set me free". For all I knew whatever be the decision I won't be ashamed of what I did.
"Move. Move fast. Where do you think you are? At some recreational park?", he said.
"Look boy", said the Hawaldar standing next to me, "This is what they do to people like you. You will learn a lesson soon. Do you see that man? Handcuffed? He killed a Seth for money."
That man's eyes were so full of guilt. He was ashamed. He didn't look up even once. The policeman would hit him but he didn't utter a word.
"When I leave that room I would not be ashamed. What for? I didn't do any wrong.", I thought to myself.
"Your turn, kid. Get up. We have to go in now.", the Hawaldar said and pulled my collar. As we entered the room, everyone looked at me as if in astonishment. "He is the culprit? He seems young. What would be his age? 14? Or 15? Not any more, I bet. God show him the right path", said a lady sitting in the corner. Soon silence invaded the room. Bade sahib was sitting there, checking the papers related to my case. I was told that he would decide my fate today.
"He seems nice. He won't punish me.", I was telling myself. Bade sahib looked at me over his glasses and then took them off. "So boy, these papers say that you killed someone. Do you have to say anything about it?"
I was 14 then. Lived in a small hut with my Maa and Baba. My Baba was a policeman. Maa used to take care of the house, fields, farms and everything. She also worked in other houses for money. She would finish her work at home early and leave. Then she would get back right before the sunset.
"Your Baba will be coming anytime. Go study. You know that he doesn't like your playing around all the time", she would say. "Ammi, Baba won't notice. And he is angry all the time.", I joked.
Ammi and Baba had been married for 25 years. Ammi was just 16 when she married Abbu.
"Your Nana Abbu wanted to find a handsome and well paid groom for me. I would find you a prince and you will rule he used to say. But he didn't live that long.", she said.
Ammi used to tell me stories from her childhood. That Nana Abbu took care of her. That he fulfilled all her wishes. "Your Nani Ammi died when I was 4. Your Nana Abbu brought me up after that. He never married again because he feared that the second mother won't love me.", she told me, "I was the most lucky kid. But after your Nana Abbu died everything changed. I married your Baba and everything changed." She heaved a sigh. She was not happy with my Baba.
"Boy, do you have anything to say about this? Did you kill anyone?", Bade Sahib shouted.
"My Baba. That someone I killed was my Baba. I killed my Baba.", I replied.
Baba used to be out all day and come home drunk. She beated Ammi, cursed her, abused her. But she never let him touch me. "Go to your room Asif. Don't you see your Baba is angry. Go to your room and lock it from inside.", she said. I would run to my room and hide there. I could easily hear Ammi crying and Abbu abusing and beating her. I cried. I always wanted to help Ammi but was too scared to come out.
She never wanted me to be a part of all this.
"Asif jaan, you should study hard and be a big man. You will have money, good clothes, big house, your own cars and many servants. Your wife will not have to work at all.", she used to say.
"Why did you kill your father?", Bade sahib asked. "I didn't kill my Baba. He was not my Baba. He was some beast. He was an animal."
That night I was doing my homework in the porch. It was dark already and the Ammi had not returned yet. I thought I should go out and look for her but she had asked me not to leave the house in the dark. She must be working too hard. That is why she comes home late. I thought.
Baba came home and Ammi had not returned yet. "Where is your Ammi?", he asked. "She is not back yet.", I replied. "Not back yet? What is she doing these days? Where does she go in the dark? Who does she meet?", he held my collar and said, "Tell me. She tells you everything. Is she seeing someone? Who is she with?". "I don't know. I am worried myself.", I replied. "You liar. You think you can fool a policeman? I will set you and your Ammi right.", he slapped me.
My friends used to say that everybody thought very low of my father. They thought that he was a very cruel and wicked person. I argued with them always and told them that my Baba was a good policeman. But reality was not hidden.
"Leave him. What are you doing?. Neither I nor Abbu noticed Ammi entering the house. "Asif, go to your room now.", she said to me. I didn't move. Baba started beating Ammi"Where were you? Who were you with? Witch.", he started abusing her.
Ammi was used to this beating now. She never said anything in response because she knew that Baba won't listen. But I could not just sit and be an audience to all this. I gathered courage and said,"Leave my Ammi. She didn't do anything." "Your Ammi is innocent? And what am I? Animal?" he asked. "Yes, you are an animal.", I replied. "So, you think I am an animal? Let me show you what an animal does.", he got furious. He went to the kitchen and brought a knife. "He will kill you' Asif. Go away please." Ammi could not stand up well due to the beating.
I don't remember what happened after that. All I remember was that I stood there with the knife in my hand. Baba was lying on the ground, all his clothes covered with blood.
"Don't be silent boy. Say something. Why did you kill your Baba? What did he do to you?", Bade Sahib asked again.
"Punish me", I said, "and set me free". For all I knew whatever be the decision I won't be ashamed of what I did.
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