Akram watched the colours of autumn through his window as his gaze followed the leaves falling off the branches and being carried away by the wind in the redness of dusk. He looked at every leaf at the tree and he was reminded of the story where a last leaf brought back the hope of survival in the hopeless. As he noticed every leaf fall, he felt a wrench at the centre of his chest. A mixed feeling of anger, sadness and helplessness took over his chain of thoughts and he began scratching the window pane in frustration. His eyes were wet and red. He turned to his right to find weak and ailing Razia sitting on the bed. She was busy noting something in a black diary.
Akram and Razia had been married for 30 years. They had two kids- daughter Sarah and son Sameer. Sarah was married to Azhar and had a son too. They lived in abroad. Sameer was studying engineering in Jaipur.
A year ago Razia was diagonised with cancer. Doctors started the treatment as soon as they got to know about her illness. In the beginning, they believed that Razia was recovering miraculously but two months ago they rendered the treatment useless. Razia's body was no longer responding to the therapies. When Razia's condition started to worsen, Sarah came to live with her parents and look after her mother.
Akram hoped that some miracle might happen and his wife would be cured. Razia on the other hand had lost all hopes.
Akram moved to the bed side and stared at Razia for five minutes. She was counting things and then adding another to the list. "Here. This is the list of every small to big things you would need after me and their locations too.", she closed the diary and gave it to Akram. Akram listened to her patiently as she continued, "Also the winter clothes. It gets too cold. You may want to know where your jackets and shawls lay."
Sarah entered the room with a bowl of soup. "Beti, help your father in finding all the things. You know the house like I do.", Razia said to her. Sarah nodded and gave her the soup. She knew how much pain these talks were causing to her father. She looked at him and said, "Abbu, dinner is ready." "Yes. Let me watch your mother finish the soup. We can leave and let her sleep then."
"Good thing that you all have taken out your pherans. Seems like winter is here already.", Azhar came in and looked out of the window. He always tried to keep up the moods. "Salaam Abbu. Ammi. All well?", he asked.
Akram and Razia replied to his greeting together. "Where is Suhail? I've heard the disease is not contagious. What else be the reason to not let my grand son near me?", Razia scoffed. "You think, mother? I let him stay with Azhar's parents so that I can look after you well.", Sarah said. "We will get him to see his nani maa tomorrow. We can do that once in a while.", Azhar said. "Yes, as if I have got world's time.", Razia replied as she pushed the soup bowl away. "I am done. Please let me sleep. Close the door on your way out.", she said.
The sickness was getting to Razia's head now. She would feel bad about very little things and then cut herself off of the family. Family never minded her behaviour because they realised what she was going through.
Akram ran his hand on Razia's forehead as he watched her sleep. They all left the room.
Silence prevailed at the dining table. Nobody was eating the food. They were just playing with the crumbs on their plates, moving them from one side to the other and then back.
"Did you talk to Majid? What did he say?", Sarah asked Azhar. "Just the usual. Nothing new.", Azhar replied to this. They were talking about Razia's condition.
Majid was Azhar's friend and a doctor. He was the one who took them to the best oncologist and got the treatment started. Majid regarded Razia as his mother. "I am so helpless. Even doctors can't do anything now. Pray for her.", he'd told Azhar the last time they met.
On listening to Sarah and Azhar's conversation about Razia's condition, Akram got uneasy. He started shaking his right leg.
"Sameer is worried. He has been calling all day. You should talk to him and tell him all is fine.", Azhar told Sarah, to which she just nodded.
Akram got up to leave. "Abbu, your food?", said Azhar. "Keep it. I am not hungry.", he replied and walked towards the room. "I will try and not wake your mother.", he whispered as he disappeared into the door.
Akram wanted some time to himself and his wife. He had a lot of things to say, many questions to ask. He didn't sleep that night as if it was their last night together. He just stared at Razia and questioned her in his mind.
Next morning, an ambulance stopped at the front door and Majid rushed in with another doctor and two assistants. Azhar showed them into a room.
The doctor checked the pulse and said, "Heart stopped working. I am sorry." Majid and Azhar broke the news to Sarah, who was waiting in the lobby, together.
Sarah didn't talk. She just went to Razia and started crying loudly. "What is it? Missing your mom already?", said Razia. Sarah's red eyes looked into her mother's. A tear rolled down Razia's eyes as if the mother could easily read the reason of tears in her daughter's eyes.
"You know? Your Abbu came to me last night and talked to me. He said that he is the head of this family. Only he, and nobody else, gets to lead us everywhere. Now I know what he meant.", Razia said. "Don't cry for him. He only got what he wished for. Just pray. Pray for him.", she put her hand on Sarah's head and looked the other way at the bare tree whose last leaf had just fallen down.
Akram and Razia had been married for 30 years. They had two kids- daughter Sarah and son Sameer. Sarah was married to Azhar and had a son too. They lived in abroad. Sameer was studying engineering in Jaipur.
A year ago Razia was diagonised with cancer. Doctors started the treatment as soon as they got to know about her illness. In the beginning, they believed that Razia was recovering miraculously but two months ago they rendered the treatment useless. Razia's body was no longer responding to the therapies. When Razia's condition started to worsen, Sarah came to live with her parents and look after her mother.
Akram hoped that some miracle might happen and his wife would be cured. Razia on the other hand had lost all hopes.
Akram moved to the bed side and stared at Razia for five minutes. She was counting things and then adding another to the list. "Here. This is the list of every small to big things you would need after me and their locations too.", she closed the diary and gave it to Akram. Akram listened to her patiently as she continued, "Also the winter clothes. It gets too cold. You may want to know where your jackets and shawls lay."
Sarah entered the room with a bowl of soup. "Beti, help your father in finding all the things. You know the house like I do.", Razia said to her. Sarah nodded and gave her the soup. She knew how much pain these talks were causing to her father. She looked at him and said, "Abbu, dinner is ready." "Yes. Let me watch your mother finish the soup. We can leave and let her sleep then."
"Good thing that you all have taken out your pherans. Seems like winter is here already.", Azhar came in and looked out of the window. He always tried to keep up the moods. "Salaam Abbu. Ammi. All well?", he asked.
Akram and Razia replied to his greeting together. "Where is Suhail? I've heard the disease is not contagious. What else be the reason to not let my grand son near me?", Razia scoffed. "You think, mother? I let him stay with Azhar's parents so that I can look after you well.", Sarah said. "We will get him to see his nani maa tomorrow. We can do that once in a while.", Azhar said. "Yes, as if I have got world's time.", Razia replied as she pushed the soup bowl away. "I am done. Please let me sleep. Close the door on your way out.", she said.
The sickness was getting to Razia's head now. She would feel bad about very little things and then cut herself off of the family. Family never minded her behaviour because they realised what she was going through.
Akram ran his hand on Razia's forehead as he watched her sleep. They all left the room.
Silence prevailed at the dining table. Nobody was eating the food. They were just playing with the crumbs on their plates, moving them from one side to the other and then back.
"Did you talk to Majid? What did he say?", Sarah asked Azhar. "Just the usual. Nothing new.", Azhar replied to this. They were talking about Razia's condition.
Majid was Azhar's friend and a doctor. He was the one who took them to the best oncologist and got the treatment started. Majid regarded Razia as his mother. "I am so helpless. Even doctors can't do anything now. Pray for her.", he'd told Azhar the last time they met.
On listening to Sarah and Azhar's conversation about Razia's condition, Akram got uneasy. He started shaking his right leg.
"Sameer is worried. He has been calling all day. You should talk to him and tell him all is fine.", Azhar told Sarah, to which she just nodded.
Akram got up to leave. "Abbu, your food?", said Azhar. "Keep it. I am not hungry.", he replied and walked towards the room. "I will try and not wake your mother.", he whispered as he disappeared into the door.
Akram wanted some time to himself and his wife. He had a lot of things to say, many questions to ask. He didn't sleep that night as if it was their last night together. He just stared at Razia and questioned her in his mind.
Next morning, an ambulance stopped at the front door and Majid rushed in with another doctor and two assistants. Azhar showed them into a room.
The doctor checked the pulse and said, "Heart stopped working. I am sorry." Majid and Azhar broke the news to Sarah, who was waiting in the lobby, together.
Sarah didn't talk. She just went to Razia and started crying loudly. "What is it? Missing your mom already?", said Razia. Sarah's red eyes looked into her mother's. A tear rolled down Razia's eyes as if the mother could easily read the reason of tears in her daughter's eyes.
"You know? Your Abbu came to me last night and talked to me. He said that he is the head of this family. Only he, and nobody else, gets to lead us everywhere. Now I know what he meant.", Razia said. "Don't cry for him. He only got what he wished for. Just pray. Pray for him.", she put her hand on Sarah's head and looked the other way at the bare tree whose last leaf had just fallen down.
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